Dear Amsterdam Hotel …

amsterdamOK, this has zero business advice whatsoever, but is based on a Larry King interview where he talked about letters from a nut. Enjoy. I will post something business-wise in a later blog.

Dear Amsterdam Hotel,

I am deathly afraid of mosquitoes and would like to bring several hundred mosquito eaters and let these bugs roam freely around my room while I stay at your place of lodging. I promise I will bring nets and bug spray if things start to get out of hand. Would that be OK?


Dear Amsterdam Hotel,

Since marijuana is legal in your country, I was wondering if you could add pot brownies to your room service menu. Or, leave them on your patrons’ pillows at night, as I think this would be such a nicer touch than those stupid, little mints. I am sure your hotel ratings will increase greatly.


Dear Amsterdam Hotel,

I lost my room key after consuming too many pot brownies at a local café and the front desk attendant was speaking in gibberish, and I could not understand this person and they would not replace my key. Your customer service sucks.


Dear Amsterdam Hotel,

Our event planner has gone missing and so have the swag bags. Can you ship them to Napa for us? The swag bags and not the event planner.


Dear Amsterdam Hotel,

Could you please add the following amenities to your location: An indoor zoo instead of the conference room, an ice skating rink in the lobby and party packs in the mini fridge to include pot, cocaine and maybe heroin? I think that would be cool thanks.


Biz advice next time … promise. For more M-Dash funnies click here.

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