Telling the World you are Number 1. I think if you are number one, you don’t necessarily have to broadcast it. It should be kind of obvious, right? Over the weekend, I ran out of hot sauce so I asked my pal to pick up a bottle at Target (bad idea). I will call this brand …. Vortega. Across the top of the bottle it read Number #1 Hot Sauce in America. America has far worse problems than the economy if this is the case. If you have never had Vortega before, I can only describe this as tomato paste with a slight hint of pepper. By slight hint, I mean barely there. Can you tell I take my hot sauce seriously? My point is unless you are number one in the Guinness book of world records or are number one in JD Power survey, use this message with care.
Blinked and You Missed it Marketing. When advertising you have seconds to grab your audience’s attention – seconds – especially when you are talking about outdoor signage. Typically I recommend company name, website, phone number and maybe a brief message. You only have seconds after all. I saw a particularly bad example of a sign last weekend – complete lack of contact information … not good. However, the message was quite clear and caught my attention. In fact, I am still laughing about it. I am going to have to tell you what beer goggles are first. Beer goggles happen (typically in college), when you have a little too much to drink and start to think the not-so-cute bouncer is HOT. The bus-stop signage message read: “Beer Goggles Go Away, Chlamydia Doesn’t.” Hysterical. And, who decided to advertise this on a bus shelter? Apparently, bus riders drink a lot of beer. Although lack of contact info and this may have been a public-service advertisement, you have to respect the memorable text.
No Thank you. If you are going to send a really lame marketing piece as a thank you gift, please don’t bother. I know it is the thought that counts and all that, but really? This particular disaster I am highlighting this week resembles a burgundy paperweight branded to the hilt with said company’s logo – also a disaster I might add. (It kind of resembles the Canadian flag – okay, if you are in Canada though). What worries me is 1. Someone really thought this was a good idea to send out and 2. Did they really think I was going to put this on my desk?? Um, no thank you. Here is a good thank you that always works – a bottle of wine.
